She wears bluejeans with her pearls

First Signs of Spring (Hint: "Sweeeeeeeeet Caroline, bum bum bummmm...")

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 00:46:03 GMT

Happy Friday, Leap Year, Sadie Hawkins Day, and Spring Training Game 1!

It feels good to be back on campus after being home for 3 days with a miserable flu, though I still plan on taking it easy this weekend. Good thing too, since I have mountains of work to make up.

Despite the 6" of snow we're supposed to receive tonight, it feels as though spring is in the air: the "Grapefruit League" games have officially begun! For the uninitiated, that means spring training games are now being played down in Florida, and those of us who have been starved for baseball these last chilly months can breathe a small sigh of contentment -- and then tense right back up again, since it means we have to watch carefully how our team shapes up.

Not that I've given up my hockey and basketball watching -- never! -- but as most people know, baseball rules and rocks my sports world. So, GO SOX!!

On a related note, I gotta ask: why is it so weird for a girl to be a baseball fanatic? I inserted a fairly banal comment into a conversation about the Sox before one of my classes today, and all the guys turned to me, en masse, with the most bemused expressions I've ever seen. The kid sitting closest to me finally had the wit to reply to what I said, and I was included in the rest of the conversation after that point, but they all kept sneeking sideways looks at me every few minutes. After the class was over, one of the guys behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said, if you can believe it, "so, what, is like your dad or boyfriend really into sports or something? do you really watch baseball?" I just laughed, and answered that while yes, both my father and boyfriend are very much into baseball, I'm into it all on my own -- huge Sox fan my entire life, thanks-very-much. He said that was cool, and he didn't really mean to offend me or anything, but he'd never met a "chick who could talk Sox like you" before. I smiled and answered, "Yeah, I get that a lot".

So what's my point? My dad loves that I'm into the Sox, since I grew up watching every game with him. And obviously a love for baseball in general and the Sox in particular is something John and I have always had in common. I'm not usually one to preach about stereotypes, but I wish those guys could meet Britt, Em, and some of my friends up here, not to mention the entire Woodward soccer, basketball, and lacrosse teams. Yes gentlemen, chicks like baseball (and every other sport, FYI) as much as you do.

Final thought: diamonds are certainly a girl's best friend... but I never said anything about the kind that goes on the hand. (Although, ahem, I wouldn't exactly object to that kind either ;D).

Singin' in the rain

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 23:50:36 GMT

I am surrounded by the best people.

Back in high school when everyone was thinking up cute/meaningful quotes to put on their senior yearbook page, I dreamed this little piece of sagacity:
"On the stage, people will enter and exit, miss cues, and cover up mistakes. The trick is to surround yourself with the best cast possible, and always smile during curtain call".
I meant it as a metaphor for life -- y'know, people come and go, do stupid things, throw BS your way, but try to make friends and stay optimistic, etc. I never really believed it, but I was way into the drama thing and it seemed to fit. Little did I think my own words would return to haunt me halfway through college.

The long and short of it is, I have the most amazing family, friends, and boyfriend.
My parents, despite years of finishing-school-like severity and higher standards than Harvard, are extrordinarily understanding and loving people who can't help but occasionally indulge their one and only little girl. My family is tiny compared to most, but the ones still left are wonderful. It's tough to be an only child, knowing that when my parents are gone, I'll be the only one who really remembers them. Song lyrics come to mind: "But who's gonna know but me? Who will help me recall all those memories, when I'm all that's left of this family of three? Who's gonna know bu me?"

I think I could write for weeks about my friends and never really explain their capacity for goodness, loyalty, and care. Some I've known for over 15 years, others only one or two, but they really keep my world spinning even when I'm about ready to hop off the old carousel. One seems to always call right when I need her humor, and knows me better than I know myself. Another brings over pizza and Cosmo when she know I'm working too hard to eat or take a break. I wouldn't give up a single memory with them. More lyrics: "Old friends are the truest ones by far; they'll never try to change you, they like you the way you are. No matter where you wander, no matter where you roam, with old friends you'll always feel at home".

I'm also lucky enough to have some pretty awesome classmates and housemates too: one neighbor knocks on my door when he's taking his trash out to see if I have any, knowing how much I hate that chore. Another classmate always says hello, no matter how busy she is or what she's doing. Those UNHers are swell kids, by and large.

John is, of course, all those adjectives (cute/smart/funny) girls look for and then some. Everyone wants to think that their love, their relationship, is special, and I'm no exception. I know I severely underestimated his ability to bring happiness into my life, particularly since I never expected him to be part of my life in the first place. I have never wanted to be with someone so much. Two song lyrics for you, since I can't decide: "Love is born in fire, it's planted like a seed. Love can't give you everything, but it gives you all you need. Love comes when you are ready, it will come when you're afraid, it will be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made"... and a one-lines, "I don't have to dream anymore".

It isn't that I'm just realizing all this now, it's more like I was inspired to write some of it out as a personal thank-you. Perhaps it's the recent college shootings, the deaths of local soldiers, and myriad other "bad stuff" happening around me, but I'm a little tired of taking everything completely for granted. I'm not really the stuck-up girl who cares for nothing and expects everything -- or at least, if ever I was, I'm not any longer. Any and all of this could be taken from me at any time... I suppose you could say my concept of mortality has fnally sunk in. Nineteen-some-odd years into life, and I hope it's not too late.

Final thought: I really did manage to surround myself with the best people (but I'm still working on the optimism thing).

P.S. I love you.

Snap back to reality

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 22:05:01 GMT

Bye bye, vacation and hello, second semester.

I'm all unpacked and settled in (finally), so I figured I'd update during halftime. Football playoffs and Sox home games really make me wish for a bigger television.

This semester I'll have a number of things to anticipate, not the least of which being a 21-credit course load, hopefully working, and applying for all kinds of study abroad grants -- not to mention starting to prep for the LSATs. I'm taking a German lit course, World Politics, French civ (in French, zut alors), Music History, Contemp. Conservation, and of course Choir and Pep Band. It's stressing me out a little more than I care to admit openly, but this is the time to really put my head down and just push through it all. The interesting part will be balancing it all with hockey games, girls' nights, parties, ski club, ice skating, working out, and "free time" to play a little music. I accept the challenge.

I can remember coming back to UNH from break around this time last year and desperately wanting to go home again (I was never quite sure why, exactly). This time, the sentiment is slightly different: I enjoy being home, for the most part, but I now have an entire month's worth of truly wonderful memories to sustain me through the semester. I did work during this break, since I'll need the spending money (over $500 in books this semester), but I got to spend a lot of time with my family, Britt & Mike, and of course John. We didn't get to travel anywhere thanks to my father's work schedule, but seeing John so often more than made up for any kind of cabin fever that could have lurked in the back of my mind. Christmas and New Year's were both amazing, as was all the other fun stuff we did. I'm spoiled now I suppose, and not seeing him -- and my family, for that matter -- for weeks at a time will be difficult.

In other news, I'm trying to decide where to go this summer to study abroad. Top on my list are Switzerland (Geneva), Belgium, and France (preferably Cannes). Oh decisions, decisions.

Final thought: GOOOOOO PATS!

The world is your snowball just for a song...

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:02:22 GMT

Oh how I love winter.

This past weekend was so awesome, I really didn't want any of it to end. Friday was a fun night of dinner, bowling, and sleepover-style movies and laughter. Saturday started very early with the bus ride to NYC, where we walked up and down 5th Ave, enjoyed Rockefeller all decorated, browsed in Times Square, had some fun in Toys R Us and FAO Schwarz, and eventually got back on the bus to NH. Sunday was spent lounging about almost all day, just enjoying ourselves and delaying the inevitable ride back to UNH. And now I have about 3 weeks before I get to see John again, and I already miss him like it's been longer than 2 days.

It's been snowing up here since Sunday night; we have a little over 6" so far. I'm really feeling under the weather at the moment, so I'm drinking tea with honey and keeping myself warm in an effort to stave off illness. I simply can not get sick right now: tons of work due this week, Choir concert on Sunday, tons of work next week, then finals. And then of course all the holiday stuff, which I'm really excited about this year.

Speaking of holidays, tonight is the first night of Chanukah. It's fun being able to celebrate two holidays, and to share that with some other friends. Mostly it makes me feel even more happy and holiday-ish.

Time for me to head back to my work, drink more tea, and hunt for the cough drops I know are buried under my bed somewhere. And maybe sit and look out the window for a while, eat a candycane, and think about someone.

Final thought: brrr, where are my boots?!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 21:59:28 GMT

Well, so it's begun: from here on in, it's crazy-busy days, crazier nights, and the time of year that I love-love-love.

Thanksgiving was a small affair at chez moi, very low-key and filled with equal parts small talk and laughter. Highlights include the two fabulous 92-year-olds arguing about who's older, a pro photog aunt critiquing some of my vacation pictures, and no less than four delicious pies shared between 11 people total. Also, John stopped by later and got to meet my parents (who acted normal! and nice! and not scary!), then stayed for a bit. I'm so excited for NYC next weekend!

Today we did the early bird shopping thing, which was successful but inordinately tiring. I came home and napped for a while -- thanks, college, for re-introducing us to this wonder -- then started working on the last USWA exam, the IA paper, and prep for the Geo exam. Like I said, crazy and busy.

I know misery sells, but I just don't have much of anything to contribute these days. I took some time today to think about humility and gratefulness (I never have time on the actual day), and as it happens, most things are going quite well at the moment. It's the holiday season, and I have so many things to anticipate, so many exciting things to enjoy.

Final thought: It's time to really start mixing a little work and a little pleasure in my days. Yes indeed.

Everything is Relative

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 16:29:13 GMT

Hello, November.

Things have been okay, lately. Classes are pretty crazy and stressful -- I had a five-day stretch of no sleep last week -- but otherwise they're still interesting. I'm not altogether thrilled with next semester, but I shouldn't judge too early. This is the time of life for exploration, after all.

I received a pretty severe shock yesterday: my best friend is engaged. She called me and said "Guess what?!", and I just knew, instantaneously, what she was going to say. I let her surprise me though, and said the requisite "oh-my-god"'s and congrats and such. I don't want to admit it, but my entire world has been turned upside down. She turns 20 years old in a week, she's a sophomore at Northeastern, Air Force ROTC. We've been best friends since we were 4, and there isn't anything we don't know about each other. And I really and truly can't handle the fact that she's engaged. He's a great guy as far as I can tell, we all hung out a bit this summer, and it isn't that I don't like him. Maybe I'm being over-reactive and over-protective; she always seemed like the younger one even though she's 6 months older than me. I was always the focused, mature one. Maybe this is another sign of her impulsiveness, or maybe she grew up and I never noticed. Either way, I get this terrible, scared feeling every time I think about it. I've never had a boyfriend for longer than 11 months (though as of right now, I'd love to break that trend), never considered marriage as something you do until you're in the mid-20s, earliest. Frankly, I haven't really considered marriage much at all, being far too focused on keeping my own head above water to worry about someone else's. Simply put, I'm lost.

Anyway, this month is filled with schoolwork, Pep Band, adviser meetings, social commitments, and Thanksgiving. I'll actually make it home for the Wareham party this year, which certainly makes my parents happy. It's one of the requirements of being my parents' daughter, hearkening back to the younger days of etiquette lessons and social instruction. Here's to hoping I manage to survive with only a minor wine hangover and fewer than 85 polite inquiries about my future at law school. You're so jealous, I know.

Is anyone else getting into the holiday mindset? Despite my crazy-mixed-up multireligious home life, I've always felt at my best during the holiday season. People are nicer, the air smells better, and it seems like everything makes me smile. For me it's all completely secular, but there's something to be said for nearly 3 months of goodness in the world.

Final thought: "I guess it's not what you take with you when you leave this world behind you, It's what you leave behind you when you go". Good one, Mr. Travis.

You've got me feeling hella good, so let's just keep on dancing...

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 00:47:39 GMT

I just had the best weekend EVER, hands down.

A million thanks and more to my fabulous friends who made it all possible.

Final thought: we're gonna have to work pretty hard to top this one. Can't wait for Halloween!

Wake me up when September ends...

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 23:40:21 GMT

It's the 25th of September... do you know where YOUR sanity is?

If you do, perhaps you could assist me in finding my own. It seems to have taken flight and gone into hiding, like a blacklisted screenwriter during the Red Scare. And alas, my good sleep habits appear to have followed suit, since I haven't slept more than 6 measely hours per night for the last week.
It's my own fault really, staying up to do work, conduct research, make phonecalls to countries in different time zones (don't ask). Plus, I have lots of things on my mind.

...Things such as "SFD" and how to deal with it. I spoke with a close friend who also suffers, though from a different "strain", and it was nice to know I'm far from alone. We share the misery, such as it is, and managed to laugh it off in the end. I'm the most recent member of the club, so to speak (though I've had it before, a few times) and I've been having a little trouble adjusting to the lifestyle. It's kinda been a while since I've had to deal with it. We decided it's not his fault -- yet -- but we'll be keeping a close eye on the situation.

Don't gasp, children, it's a made-up disease system we ladies use to discuss guys. Okay? Okay.

Otherwise, things are progressing as they usually do. I spend time with friends when I can -- a lunch here, pool game there -- and I may or may not have some terribly exciting news to report in the not-too-distant future. How's that for a cliffhanger?

And hey, I have the new Rascal Flatts album, a gorgeous Halloween costume in the works, and the Sox are in full post-season swing at home. Not bad, not bad at all.

Final thought: if you don't already know what SFD is, don't ask. If you do know... any advice? My strain is LDR.

I woke up this morning, with a feeling inside me that I can't explain

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 22:32:14 GMT

So, so, so.
Clothing has been put away, electronics plugged in, decorations artfully arranged, schedule color-coded: I guess I'm what you'd call "settled back in". I've found that I'm feeling very at home with it all, which is a pleasant surprise. I love the way my shoebox of a room looks, I'm exceedingly curious about my new classes, and I'm enjoying these last few hours of calm and quietude. We all know THAT won't last for long!
Classes:
World History
US in World Affairs
IA
Music History
Concert Choir
Pep Band
Flute Lesson

Definitely a lighter class load than the 12 I dealt with last semester, but a lot of those have heavy workloads and are writing-intensive. Wish me... well, not luck, but perhaps perseverence.

Sometimes I wish I knew who really reads this thing. I leave it open to the public eye because I don't use personal information, I never trash-talk, and I like to type things out on occasion. But in truth, I believe a subconscious reason I keep it is the audience factor -- and we all know I love an audience. But while I may cherish dreams of someday living a biography-worthy life, I'm perfectly aware that nothing these days is of any interest to anyone save myself.

Moving right along.
I wasn't going to mention anything, since it can occasionally lead to trouble, jinxing, or both -- but as far as my personal life goes, I'm in a state of near-constant delight. Few realize the level of pleasant but absolute SHOCK that I reached last week, I think, but I admit it's true. Coincidentally, everyone was right and I was wrong; someday I'll listen to you all, I swear. But I can't be angry, let alone annoyed, because for once in my life someone surprised me, and in an amazing way.

Final thought: I still have some catching up to do with friends. Best get on that!

Yeah this... is my wish

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:08:15 GMT

What a weekend!
Friday night was supposed to be the Marshfield Fair, but thanks to unreliable friends, turned out to be a pleasant and productive evening at home with the family.

Saturday night goes down as the best night of my summer: the Rascal Flatts concert with John and his two friends. My first "big event" concert was an amazing experience! The show itself was energetic, loud, and full of funny moments and musical talent. I've never seen that many people all singing the same song. And the night itself was all I could ever have hoped for: I believe it's safe to say that my questions, such as they were, have been answered (see previous entry). I had to put up with lots of "I told you so's", but since they were correct all along, I really don't mind in the least. Am I babbling incoherently? Chalk it up to pure happiness and excitement!

Oh and yesterday was pleasant, full of car-washing, lemonade-drinking, cake-baking, and relaxing.

So, one week from today I'll be back in action at good old UNH. This week is dedicated to shopping, packing, and de-stressing. With luck I'll see most of the home crowd before I go; Tuesday is my Bon Voyage Day with Danielle -- she's hopping across the pond for the semester.

Final thought: many things to anticipate...
-UNH
-Fall stuff, i.e. apple picking, leaf-peeping, stargazing
-New Rascal Flatts CD
-Weekends spent in special company :D
-Sox and Pats and UNH Wildcats...oh and Celts and Bruins too.

You treat life like picture, but it's not a moment that's frozen in time...

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 21:47:06 GMT

To give the complete verse:

"You treat life like a picture
But it's not a moment that's frozen in time
It's not gonna wait 'til you make up you mind
At all"

Appropriate content indeed, and the artist is probably no coincidence either.

**If I've lost you already, please skip down to "Final Thought".**

Here's what I don't understand: am I really, truly, and honestly THAT intimidating to certain people? I'm going to quote an e-mail that was co-written by my brother and his wife:

"Bobby says: It's really a happy conundrum you have, kiddo. You'll know when a friendship or relationship or whatever is right when the other person is your cheerleader, your biggest fan (like Steph is for me!!). He/she/they will be able to approach you with just about anything, with no fears of rejection. You're one of 'those' girls, the ones who at least seem like they have stuff figured out -- and it scares the hell out of guys.
Steph says: remember, I had to tell Bobby I had a crush on him. HE was scared of ME!"

And here, an excerpt from an e-mail sent by a very close friend, who will remain anonymous:

"Frankly Scarlet... no, it isn't that I don't care, it's that I wonder whether your friends do. And I'm referring to the friends of both male and female variety here. Seriously Cay, I don't know why certain girls don't follow through with plans. And I'll be damned if I can figure out why certain guys are so close-mouthed about liking you! This isn't empty flattery -- coming from a straight male who's known you a long time, believe me when I say that if they don't like you, or won't tell you when they do, well, they clearly don't know a good (read: smart! funny! hot!) chick when they meet one".

So alright ladies and 'gents, where did I go wrong? I'm forced into the conclusion that yes, in fact, "it's not you, it's ME". As in, I'm just not 'something' enough.

Final thought: look, I'm agonizing over this because I refuse to allow a perfectly lovely friendship to end over a silly question of do-ya-like-me. But really, if I don't get some kind of definitive answer soon, I'm going to make a moving-on attempt and give it up. I just... I dunno... really, really hope it doesn't come down to that.

Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down...

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:31:23 GMT

I believe the point has been reached wherein I am more than ready to move back. I have enjoyed this summer rather more than I'd originally thought, though not quite as much as I had hoped. Nonetheless, I'm looking forward to UNH and all it entails.

At the moment, I am forced to admit that the most prevalent emotion in my life is frustration. In small things -- work-related (I do work with children), family related (aging parents). And in somewhat more important fields, such as my career, my friends, my personal appearance, and my general relations with various people, most of whom are important to me.

I shall elaborate further in person, as usual, but indulge me a little bit here.
-It so happens that I love my university; clearly I'm not the type to remain if it weren't offering me so much. Yet there are times when I desire a more high-minded approach, an Ive-League attitude, or some general sense of intellectual superiority. Frankly, I think I just need to get back into classes, since I tend to learn towrds an all-encompassing label of "Academic", and summers are of no use in that regard.
-It so happens that some of my friends are, to be blunt, selfish to the point of rudeness, and are entirely blind to this fact. During a typical conversation, it is not uncommon for the phrase "whatever, I dunno what you're worrying about, listen to THIS..." to be used, and used frequently. And this after my statement of "I wonder what my IA class will be like this semester". A handful of my oldest and best friends appear to be making absurdly illogical choices at the moment (engagement before they can legally consume alcohol, rampant unprotected sex, extreme academic ennui, etc.). I cannot offer criticism, but I cannot honestly offer profound congratulations, thus I am stuck in rather precarious situations -- certainly not a common place for me.
-It so happens that there's a young man, a "guy", who is frustrating the hell out of me by being entirely too circumspect about our relations. In other words, sometimes he acts interested, sometimes he doesn't, most of the time I can't tell, and I'm REALLY coming to my wit's end. Pitifully, I care enough about him (read: I LIKE HIM, OKAY?) and about our friendship, so casually mentioning that I've liked him for over a year, receiving a negative reaction, then losing him an a friend out of sheer embarrassment would be... unthinkable.

Alright, j'ai fini avec mon "rant".
Final thought: glad I got that off my chest. Aide-moi, s'il tu plait?

I gotta get through this, I gotta get through this...

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:01:45 GMT

As of yesterday, it's bye bye wisdom teeth. I appreciate all of the helpful insight about it from friends and family, but they all seemed to miss one crucial detail: the day AFTER. Nobody told me it'd hurt this much to talk, eat, drink, hum, or breathe. Still, I know I'm better for having them out. But the age-old question remains: will I be smarter sans wisdom?

Kidding.

Plenty has been happening these days -- trips to the Cape, and beach house in Ogunquit, and various other adventures at work and at home. For my first collegiate summer, I'd say things aren't going half bad. Even the Sox are doing well, knock on wood, and with any luck at all I'll make it to a game before September.

Also, a camping trip or three might be in the offing, since I have a newly-acquired tent to break in.

Final thought: my sincere aplogies at the lack of coherency... I'm a bit hopped up on various painkillers, and I'm sure the combination isn't lending me much credibility as a writer. Alas, perhaps Hemmingway had the right of it after all.

I'm on a roll and I swear to my soul, tonight I'm gonna paint this town...

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:34:46 GMT

Well, 'tis the season of cookouts, camping, bonfires, and Jimmy Buffett. At least the weather is finally cooperating!

This week is "job training", such as it is, for the Y. I'll be missing whatever's going on there Wednesday, however, since I decided to coach and play in Flute Symphony this year. It will keep me playing at least once a week, 4 hours every Wednesday evening. That's probably more than I played in an entire month up at school. Interesting.

I finally invested in a new tent for myself: a nice new Coleman 4-person, all-weather dome. I haven't used it yet, so it's currently sitting in my room waiting to be christened. Perhaps this weekend I'll go, if the weather is conducive.

Also, my car is finally a. working and b. legal. I tried it out with Mother last night, just to get a feel. It's so much larger than old Doris that I feel like I'm driving a boat! And he's still un-named as of yet, and I'm open to suggestions (1995 Oldmobile Ciera, navy exterior and baby blue interior, HUGE).

As soon as camp starts up I'll be back to the usual busy/tired/stressed during the week, but since I always have weekends free, I look forward to some down time. Other highlights of this summer include, but are not limited to, a stay at the beachouse with family and friends, a few nights out in Boston like I had with Dave already, some time at the beach, some dancing classes perhaps, and my wisdom teeth pulled from my face. That last is NOT going to pleasant given my phobia of needles and low pain threshold, but I can't avoid it any longer. Yikes.

So, time for me to keep going on some lesson plans, get my props together, and drink a lot of coffee.

Final thought: which is more enjoyable, the prep or the practice?

...now I'm on a roll and I swear to my soul, tonight I'm gonna paint this town...

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:38:33 GMT

Interesting, how quickly my Vancouver and Alaska trip went by. I had a great time, and I might even consider returning to Alaska to venture further, maybe get to Denali and Glacier National Park. But I still have England and my study abroad to prep for, so other trips will have to wait.

This summer will likely prove to be busy as usual, since I'm working at the Y teaching drama again. But despite my love-hate relationship with certain aspects of that job, I'm really looking forward to getting back into the swing of it. I wish I had somewhere to work during weeknights, but I'd probably be too fatigued to work more than a couple of hours a week -- and who wants to hire a college kid for that? Nobody, obviously.

I do enjoy never working on a weekend, however. My Friday and Saturday nights will probably always be open, so I'll either get in some social time or some "me" time.

Hopefully I'll be able to spend some QT with my UNH friends. As difficult as it is to arrange short trips and get-togethers, I can't imagine having all my friends be across the country. I'm lucky enough that they're all in NH, CT, and RI -- at least we can drive or take the train, most of the time.

Real quick: a much-belated but heartfelt thank you to everyone who made my birthday a nice one this year. I wasn't anticipating anything, given that it was the last day of classes, but like true friends you all made me smile. Many thanks.

Time for me to get some things done, and maybe even pick up the flute for a bit. Should I do something like Flute Symph this summer, just to keep up the chops? Hm, something to consider.

Final thought: my summer 07 playlist is nearing completion! I'm missing a bunch of pop-type stuff, but other than that it's sounding pretty snazzy. Suggestions are always welcome!

Don't you knock on my door, I won't be home anymore, you can find me out walking in the sun

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 22:44:36 GMT

Is there something you are truly yearning to know?

I'm a dual-major in European Culture Studies and International Affairs, with a minor in Music. I love college in general and UNH in particular, far more than I ever anticipated I could. While nobody would call university life a walk in the park, I've found it to be just the atmosphere I have been looking for since I was in Jr. high.

High school does little to prepare you for college. A lazy, underachieving, unmotivated, malnourished highschooler will not simply morph into a star studne, athlete, and achiever upon moving into a dorm.

However, if you're already in the habit of working hard and all those good things, college will do wonders for you: it provides the means to satisfy the natural curiosity and drive for success.

That being said, step one of the entire learning process is choosing the right school. I know plenty of people who have hated their first year of college, simply because they hated their school.

A few words on the recent events at Virginia Tech: imagine this happening at your school. Your friends, dorm-mates, classmates, even roommate, screaming and crying. Or perhaps not saying anything at all. The sanctity of the campus was violated in the most horrific way, and though I didn't personally know a single person involved, I keep the VTech community in my thoughts, and remain truly thankful that my school has not experienced an event like this.

In other news, my father is no longer employed. Charles Webb has closed, they were denied Chapter 11, and now Daddy (age 63) is jobhunting. More than simple luxury and personal comforts are at stake: my return to UNH, my two studies abroad, my Mother's sanity.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous, I'm going home for a family conference and good Chinese food, and the Sox take on the Yankees at Fenway tonight. This amounts to a lovely TGIF.

Final thought: any stab at profundity right now would be utterly futile. So, GO SOX!

The seasons, they go round and round, the painted ponies go up and down...

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 03:41:54 GMT

Up and down indeed. These days, I'm happy to report, it's nearly always up.

In fact, given the fact that it's Spring Break and I'm still smiling, I'd say things are looking up indeed.

UNH is still amazing, though the triple major gig can really wear and tear on the mind and body at times. But I have a set of pretty fantastic friends, and we all help each other through the stress.

I also received some rather exciting news today from one of those fab friends... more to follow, tune in next time, etc.

Final thought: I am strangely fascinated by carousels. Is this a personality quirk? (My desktop picture is the San Fran carousel, and the subject line of this entry is from a metaphorical song).

Pickin' on six strings, people pass by and you call 'em by their first name...

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 00:50:07 GMT

It never ceases to amaze me that at a university with such a vast student population, I rarely walk anywhere on campus without exchanging a greeting with someone I know.

Yes, things are still fine and dandy around here, for the most part. Nothing's perfect, of course, but despite the day-to-day drama of living in a small and close-knit dorm and the general issues that arise from higher education, there isn't much I would change.

I most certainly would not change the campus at the moment; I've entirely adapted to the long hikes to and from everywhere (yes, I live 10 minutes from my first class and no, I don't care if you have to T it to all of yours). How could anyone beat fall in the New England hills and countryside? Boston is beautiful right now too, I know, and I'll likely spend at least part of this Columbus Day weekend schmoozing the Pru area like the old days. Yet here I am, residing and spending every waking (and sleeping!) moment surrounded by nature's fiery glory of red, yellow, orange, green, brown, and gold. And by George, it smells good too, particularly in the morning after a rainstorm. Kind of like tomorrow will be, since it's pouring at the moment.

Speaking of which, tomorrow will be 56 degrees, "windy, brisk", and altogether lovely.

I have a few concerts coming up in the next few weeks. Should you decide to visit and hear my, I'd reccommend the Concert Choir performance over the Symphonic Band. Please, trust me on this one. Then again, if you're hockey-minded, you could always hear me play at the UNH men's and women's hockey games (which is SO COOL that I get to see them, by the way), along with some others. Hooray, Pep Band!

For everyone still in the applying-to-college stage, a few words of encouragement: it's worth it! I began to feel that classes in high school were useless, a waste of time, and needlessly complicated. For me, I look forward to class each and every day (with the occasional exception) for the sole reason that I ~~feel~~ know that I have gained intelligence, actual knowledge, from these classes. Useful stuff. Cool stuff. Hard stuff. Fascinating, funny stuff. "Such stuff as dreams are made of", as it were.

Final thought: live it, love it, learn it, laugh it up!

You've got to stop and smell the roses, take the time to laugh and sing...

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 17:01:20 GMT

It's rather astounding that a person can have this much work -- hard work, at that -- and still be utterly happy and content with her life. More than content, actually; enthused and excited and amazed are closer to the right words.

I was just discussing this with a friend the other day: how we can be absolutely infatuated with a place, and the people in it, but still have so much craziness. Am I being clear? Perhaps not. Try this:

I love UNH with a passion, it's the perfect place for me and I can't imagine myself anywhere else. The people are fabulous, the entire atmosphere of the school is filling all the gaps in my life, and the workload is at least five or six times that of high school. It's a dichotomy I don't care to analyze all that much, since thinking about it would destroy some of the magic.

I hope everyone else has had, is having, or will have such a college ecperience at some point in their life.

Final thought: a more detailed account is yet to come, but as always, I'm just too busy :D

We were young, and wild, and free...

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 00:55:43 GMT

I'm not entirely certain what the tone of this entry should be. My options are:

1. Contemptuous: I have lots of work, lots of friends.
2. Pleasantly surprised: I can survive an entire weekend on 13 hours of sleep!
3. Proud: I partied with people all weekend and still managed to get all my work done.
4. Clinically insane: I added another major.
5. Superior: other people aren't doing well or enjoying college life, but my life rocks.
6. Faintly annoyed: I wore sweatpants in front of people yesterday; tsk tsk.
7. Angry: you do NOT have to drink to have a good time, idiots!
8. Happy: I live in the best dorm, ever, no contest.
9. Concerned: stop sleeping around, ladies, and stop asking if I am too.
and finally,
10. Ecstatic: I got "goodies" in the mail, and ohh boy are they good!

Perhaps the list of possibilities is enough.

I'm now here for Music History, Preteaching (the Master's part of the equation) and International Affairs. As of next semester I'll have 11 classes.

There isn't much free time to be had during the week, but I find that I'm able to completely let go of it on the weekends, set the stress aside, and truly enjoy myself. LEGALLY.

Final thought: today was a perfect New England fall day, complete with cloudless electric-blue skies, chill air, and falling leaves. And it's still warm enough to play Ultimate :D

Days go by, I can feel 'em flying like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by...

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 01:36:30 GMT

Now I know why we looked up to our big collegiate friends.

I never mentioned my current sched, did I?
Music Theory (freshman)
Ear Training (freshman)
Percussion (all)
Emergance of Life in the Universe (freshman inquiry, writing-intensive)
Advanced French Composition and Conversation (upperclass, writing-intensive)
Symphonic Band (all, 3rd chair)
Concert Choir (all)
Masterclass (all flutes)
Student Recital (all music dept.)
Lesson (um myself and my flute prof)

Beginning next semester, it's possible that I'll be adding International Affairs as a sort of dual major-type thing. I've only looked into it as a something I'd like to be doing alongside music history, but I'm unsure whether or not it will fit in with my master's program. We shall see.

Everything around here is rather fab, not including the homework. I don't want to hear any high schoolers, particularly non-seniors, complain about their workloads. I defy them to try 3 hours of work for every 1 hour of class! In actuality, I enjoy doing the (ridiculous amount of) work nearly as much as I enjoy classes. I finally feel as if I'm absorbing knowledge, and that it's important information. Useful, as well.

Final thought: it all comes together, doesn't it. Fate and destiny be hanged, this is what I'm here to do.

Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants...

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 02:14:31 GMT

Week one of college: check.

I'm pickin' up good vibrations...

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 16:04:26 GMT

So, I'm here at UNH. Thus far, it's as great as I'd hoped -- maybe even a bit better.

My house, though relatively secluded and far away from things, is quite nice. My dorm isn't nearly as small as I thought, though it's pretty itty-bitty. All the upperclassmen are moving in right now so it's a little hectic, but I'm just sipping some coffee after a nice brunch with some friends.

Classes begin tomorrow. I'm taking seven, so my days are rather full, but it's no worse a sched than I'm used to from other years.

The atmosphere here is a neat one: laid back and excited, but with a sense of purpose. Yes, people party and like to enjoy themselves, but most understand that they're on their own and have to think about stuff more carefully.

I ran into a few people I know, but odds are I won't see them much.

Britt moves away today, first to ROTC training then to actual school. I was so happy when she and Em came to see me off on Friday, I only wish I could do the same for them.

Final thought: if you'd like my dorm phone # or mailing address, let me know -- everyone is aware of my little correspondance fixation, so I'll check the mail frequently.

If that's movin' up then I'm... MOVIN OUT!

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 23:40:16 GMT

Yesterday I said goodbye to all the kids and counselors. Some even cried when I said it was my last day, how touching. And making pancakes with Katie for every single person was a pretty fine send-off.

Last night, I went to the fair with Britt, Em, and Zach.
We had a rolicking good time, driving around blasting everything from Queen to old 8th grade pop stuff, singing along and completely forgetting that it would be the last time we'd see each other for a while. We screamed our heads off on the rides, even the silly ones -- because we could. We drove, sang, laughed -- because we could. After a fantastic evening of stories and fun and memories, we said goodbye and I walked up my drive to the house, turning to wave one last time.
I was still smiling.
When i got inside and closed the door, I teared up. I'll miss my best friends.

Tomorrow I move to my new home! Please call, e-mail, text, write, send smoke signals... keep in touch.

Final thought: the checklist is complete. Bye bye, home.

Kiss the day goodbye, and reach out for tomorrow...

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 23:50:41 GMT

Nearly that time, and I can hardly wait. Oddly enough, I feel no apprehension or fear whatsoever -- what is there to be afraid of? I look forward to new people, places, and experiences, so why should I shy away from it now. Perhaps it's my love of and experience with traveling that gives me such confidence.

I said goodbye to a number of great people from work on Friday; I myself have only three days remaining. This summer was far better than last on all counts, but particularly in terms of staff and what I accomplished with the campers.

Despite a downright nutso weekend of packing and general school readiness, I managed to squeeze in a mani/pedi with mother and my sister-in-law Stephanie. Also, tomorrow I will meet Danielle for a lunchy-brunchy-chat 'n chew at Maggiano's. Apparently mother and daddy have something planned for the afternoon, and though it's supposed to be a surprise, I have a fairly good idea as to what they want to buy me. I've never been surprised in my life, as some campers found out last week when they tried to sneak up on my classroom.

Final thought: So long, farewell, adieu, soon!