I am surrounded by the best people.

Back in high school when everyone was thinking up cute/meaningful quotes to put on their senior yearbook page, I dreamed this little piece of sagacity:
"On the stage, people will enter and exit, miss cues, and cover up mistakes. The trick is to surround yourself with the best cast possible, and always smile during curtain call".
I meant it as a metaphor for life -- y'know, people come and go, do stupid things, throw BS your way, but try to make friends and stay optimistic, etc. I never really believed it, but I was way into the drama thing and it seemed to fit. Little did I think my own words would return to haunt me halfway through college.

The long and short of it is, I have the most amazing family, friends, and boyfriend.
My parents, despite years of finishing-school-like severity and higher standards than Harvard, are extrordinarily understanding and loving people who can't help but occasionally indulge their one and only little girl. My family is tiny compared to most, but the ones still left are wonderful. It's tough to be an only child, knowing that when my parents are gone, I'll be the only one who really remembers them. Song lyrics come to mind: "But who's gonna know but me? Who will help me recall all those memories, when I'm all that's left of this family of three? Who's gonna know bu me?"

I think I could write for weeks about my friends and never really explain their capacity for goodness, loyalty, and care. Some I've known for over 15 years, others only one or two, but they really keep my world spinning even when I'm about ready to hop off the old carousel. One seems to always call right when I need her humor, and knows me better than I know myself. Another brings over pizza and Cosmo when she know I'm working too hard to eat or take a break. I wouldn't give up a single memory with them. More lyrics: "Old friends are the truest ones by far; they'll never try to change you, they like you the way you are. No matter where you wander, no matter where you roam, with old friends you'll always feel at home".

I'm also lucky enough to have some pretty awesome classmates and housemates too: one neighbor knocks on my door when he's taking his trash out to see if I have any, knowing how much I hate that chore. Another classmate always says hello, no matter how busy she is or what she's doing. Those UNHers are swell kids, by and large.

John is, of course, all those adjectives (cute/smart/funny) girls look for and then some. Everyone wants to think that their love, their relationship, is special, and I'm no exception. I know I severely underestimated his ability to bring happiness into my life, particularly since I never expected him to be part of my life in the first place. I have never wanted to be with someone so much. Two song lyrics for you, since I can't decide: "Love is born in fire, it's planted like a seed. Love can't give you everything, but it gives you all you need. Love comes when you are ready, it will come when you're afraid, it will be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made"... and a one-lines, "I don't have to dream anymore".

It isn't that I'm just realizing all this now, it's more like I was inspired to write some of it out as a personal thank-you. Perhaps it's the recent college shootings, the deaths of local soldiers, and myriad other "bad stuff" happening around me, but I'm a little tired of taking everything completely for granted. I'm not really the stuck-up girl who cares for nothing and expects everything -- or at least, if ever I was, I'm not any longer. Any and all of this could be taken from me at any time... I suppose you could say my concept of mortality has fnally sunk in. Nineteen-some-odd years into life, and I hope it's not too late.

Final thought: I really did manage to surround myself with the best people (but I'm still working on the optimism thing).

P.S. I love you.